Notice Me
by YamiBlueberry-chan
Summary: As we all know, two men love Juliette Ferrars. Adam, and everyone's love, Warner. Though one man's feelings remain unnoticed. Set it the middle of Ignite Me, we watch our beloved secondary character accidentally admits his feelings. With this, finding out Warner CAN'T touch Juliette and with the war still raging on, Juliette Ferrars' life is more complicated than ever.
1. Chapter 1

_**Shatter Me Fanfiction: **_

"_**Notice Me"**_

**Me: Hello! I just LOVE this series.**

**I was a teeny weeny disappointed in the last book but I still loved it. This is kind of my own version but I'm only making some changes. Some minor, some major but I just want you to give this story a try.**

**You might find the pairing a little weird but hey… it just HAD to happen. If you don't understand what I mean then just keep reading.**

**Starts at the chapter when Juliette asks Kenji to come with her to Warner's headquarters and Kenji, of course, refuses.**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer – I do not own the Shatter Me series. All rights go to Tahereh Mafi.**

x-x-x

"_Dammit, Kenji!" I explode, breaking away from Warner. "Please, for the love of God, don't be an idiot. You have to come with me—I need you—"_

"_But you also need to be with Warner too, right?"_

_His sudden statement catches me off guard. His face is making an expression I cannot comprehend while mine is probably turning redder every second. "What do you mean?"_

_He crosses his arms and his stare makes a chill go up my spine and crawl into my ribs, encircling my heart. "Answer my question, Juliette," he demands. "What do you find so likeable about a __**murderer **__like him? He's no different from his father."_

_I feel my heart twinge in anger. "Why are you so mad Kenny?" I ask him in a desperate attempt to defend Warner. "I keep telling you, Warner is not evil. He is not a mass murderer like his father and most importantly. HE'S NOT A PSYCHOPATH!" _

_"I don't give a **** if he's as nice as Archangel Gabriel," he swears, eyes and tone angry. "I don't want you to have anything to do with him, J!" _

_"And why not? You see how much he cares about me!" I counter._

_"Why? You think he's the only one that cares about you!" he shouts, his voice hurt and his arms flailing in the air. "What about me? I bet my life that I love you much more than that dumbass ever could!" _

_Time freezes._

_Eyes widen._

_People gasp._

_I turn pale._

_Before turning scarlet. "You... what?" I ask Kenji as I was asking Lily using my widened eyes. She shakes her head slowly, in as much shock as I am. Ian's and Brendan's mouths are gaping at him. Winston is whispering, "I knew it. I knew it," repeatedly._

_"Oh ****..." Kenji covers his reddening face with his right arm, only his eyes visible to me— wait… Kenji's… __**blushing**__? I take a few steps forward, wanting to gently clap his shoulder in concern._

_"Kenji...?"_

_My hand a few inches from his shoulder, he steps back, hits the wall, opens the door and runs out as fast as he can._

_My feet move forward and chase him, until a warm hand pulls me back._

_Warner._

_I completely forgot that he was in this room._

_**Warner.**_

_His eyes try to search mine and I don't let him. "Where are you going, love?" he asks his voice tense._

"_I have to find Kenji," I answered. I thought that that would be a good enough indication for him to let me leave; instead, his grip becomes tighter around my wrist. _

_He says one word that stuns me. "No." His voice is trying to tempt me to make me go with him. "You don't need him, love. You have me and I'm all you'll ever want."_

_I let out a sigh and grab the hand holding my wrist. "Warner," I look at him straight in the eye, "this is not about what or who I need. What's important now is that I talk to Kenji. The fact that he told me he loves me is something I cannot ignore. I don't want to lose my best friend, Warner. I really don't." I bite my trembling lip. Now is not the right time to cry._

"_Now," I say as I squeeze his hand lightly, "let me go."_

_His head tempts a nod. Halfway, he stops as he looks at my pleading eyes. He looks at the floor and releases me. _

_I don't know what kind of girl possesses my body as I do what I do next:_

_I stand on my tiptoes and I land my lips on his soft cheek. His skin feels smooth and warm. Once I separate from him, I smile at him warmly. "Thank you."_

_I'm out the door before he says anything else._

_x-x-x_

**Me: That's all for today. Hoped you enjoyed it!**

**RnR!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Notice Me Chapter 2**_

**Me: Back with the next chapter! And before I let you guys read I have a special guest. It's—**

**Kenji: Me! Hold the applause, I know you love me.**

**Me: …**

**Kenji: Why are you not clapping?**

**Me: You told me not to!**

**Kenji: Oh… I take it back then. Clap for me! Clap for me!**

**Me: *comes closer and slaps his two cheeks with my hands repeatedly* There, I clapped.**

**Kenji: I really hate you.**

**Me: Oh really? Alright… *grabs laptop and starts typing furiously* There. Now you'll be miserable in this chapter. And probably the next one too.**

**Kenji: WHAT?! That's so unfair! Give me that! *reaches for my laptop***

**Me: *dodges and tucks the laptop in my bag* That's all the space we can take. To everyone, happy reading!**

**I don't own the Shatter Me Trilogy.**

o-o-o

**Kenji's POV**

_~I bet my life that I love you much more than that dumbass ever____could!~_

What the hell is wrong with me?

_~I love you much more than that dumbass ever____could!~_

I'm an idiot.

_~I __**love**__ you~_

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I scream my lungs out as I lie down on the edge of the metal roof. I wanted to run away from Juliette and here I am attracting as much attention to me as possible. Yes, really smart Kenji.

The roof makes my back feel cold as I lie on it and I'm staring at the gray, polluted sky. A sigh escapes my lips and I run a hand through my face.

It's always been obvious I felt something for the girl and it took me a few weeks before I realized I wasn't satisfied with being her best friend anymore, as much as it flatters me. And I can't believe how relieved I was the first time Juliette and Kent broke up. I had no idea why I brightened up but when I saw her tears; I wanted to mentally slap myself.

At first, I just thought that this was what protective friends would feel. Then all those times I flirted with her back at the base, they weren't real then. I wish I hadn't been so damn annoying and kept telling her I liked her. Maybe now she'd actually think I'm serious.

I bury my face in my hands and let out a groan.

"Kenji! Are you here?"

_Juliette_.

My heart leaps inside my chest yet I don't look up. Of course she'd be able to find me. Who wouldn't with all my screaming?

Her voice is relieved as she says my name once more. "Kenji, thank God. Listen I—"

"Answer me." Those two words come out unplanned and it surprises both of us.

"H-Huh?"

I glance at her for a few seconds and I instantly regret what I said. I take in a deep breath and keep my head in my hands. "I'm sorry. I know that you're dealing with a lot of **** now— Kent just broke up with you less than an hour ago and we still have this war to fix – I didn't— I didn't _want _to make things so damn complicated for you but… I couldn't— I couldn't take it anymore."

"You couldn't take _what_ anymore?"

Tears shine in my eyes and I wipe them off the second they're there. "I can't take denying my love for you anymore," I answer. "I've been in love with you since we were back at the base. Even though I knew I couldn't touch you." My cheeks burn and I'm glad my face is hidden.

"I'm not contented with being your _best friend_," I continue, saying the last few words coldly. "I just _dread _watching you making out with Adam and you flirting with Warner. I get so jealous I'm ready to rip my head off, but usually, I'd rather rip both their heads off. For claiming you. Because… I want you to be mine.

"I kept all these feelings and crap inside me for so long because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. It's the most precious thing I have left. I'm such an idiot." I laugh and it pains me so much. "I already lost my home, my family and right now… I'm about to lose you as well."

She argues with me. "No, you're not going to lose me, Kenji. I-I'm here for… you…"

Juliette remains quiet and I hear a loud crash. Standing up quickly, I turn to see Juliette, her body lying on the roof. She collapsed.

I run towards her and shake her shoulders. "Juliette?" I call her name and she doesn't respond. I shake her more vigorously. "Hey J, this isn't funny! Wake up dammit!" The way her chest rises and falls, shows that she has trouble breathing.

I lift her up in my arms and I go climb down the stairs, shouting for help from inside the house.

I kick the door instead of knocking it and it falls off the hinges. Sorry Kent.

The first one to approach me was Warner. _Of course. _He comes up to me with an angered expression. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!" He demanded. My eyes bulged in shock before they narrowed.

"Don't blame me!" I yelled. "She collapsed on her own! Now would you please shut up and let me in?!"

He hesitates for a moment and lets me in but I know perfectly well he isn't convinced of my innocence. I lay her down on a blanket and I hear Warner mumble on why we didn't even have one proper bed. _I'm sorry but your father bombed all our supplies back at the base, including our soft beds, you bastard._

Warner feels Juliette's sweaty forehead and I grit my teeth. I hate it when he touches her.

"She's hot," Warner says.

"Yeah," I smirk at the most inappropriate time. "I think I got that."

He almost rolls his eyes at me. "No, you imbecile… She's burning up." He cups her cheek with his palm. "I think she's running down with a fever."

"But how can that be? She was perfectly healthy a minute ago."

Brendan walks up to us. "It's probably because you guys stressed her out too much. Being broken up with and getting confessed to in the same day is not really good for one's emotional health."

"Stress won't just magically give her a fever in a few minutes, idiot." Warner replies.

A new voice joins in. "Well, you touching her won't help feel any better." _Castle._ I almost collapse like Juliette. He's not a lifeless statue anymore.

Ian and Winston support him as he stands up. Once he gets to Juliette, he thanks them and faces Warner instead.

"What are you saying?" Warner asks, his voice firm.

Castle's eyes trail from Juliette to Warner. "I'm saying that Juliette's ill condition is caused by you."

Everyone in the room reacts. My ears perk up, interested by every word.

Warner's eyes widen. "What?"

Castle nods. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I _was _going to tell you this the day after you escaped but I might as well tell you now." His expression darkens.

"It is true that when you touch Miss Ferrars," he continues, "there are no consequences for _you_. However, that does not go the same way for _her_. For normal humans, there is only one kind of energy inside of them, the life force. For us, with unnatural abilities, we have two: The natural life force and the energy from our powers.

"You are capable of tapping into our abilities and returning the energy back to us, but… there is a catch. Your powers are like a threat to us, and our bodies, not capable of defending your powers using the energy from our supernatural abilities, resort to using our life force. And that is a force that cannot be returned to us. In Miss Ferrars' case, it's much worse. As I was examining Miss Ferrars slept—"

Warner cuts him off. "You examined Juliette in her sleep?"

"Yes," Castle answers simply. "Don't worry; I am not lustful like you."

Warner is taken back. "L-Lustful—?!"

"Now, going back to the topic at hand," Castle's firm voice shuts him up. "I have found out that she has been weakening ever since you started practicing your powers with her. Her life force has been dropping and I noticed that even on days when you don't absorb her powers, it is still being drained. Then I have come up with this conclusion: Whenever you simply touch her, even though you don't take her powers, her life force is slowly being drained. It turns out that you do not only absorb her life force, but with every touch you drain 28% of the supernatural energy you absorb and return to her, that gravely exhausts her. Thus, the more you make physical contact with her, the closer she is to death. So unless you want her to die, one thing is clear:

"_You are not allowed to touch her_."

We all stare at Juliette's feverish state and then at Warner, who was in such a massive state of shock he fell to his knees. Castle just stands there, amused by the situation.

Three men fell in love with Juliette and as of now… none of them can touch her.

What the hell is going to happen now?

o-o-o

**Me: Yes Kenji, what the hell is going to happen now? I'm sorry but I just **_**HAD **_**to give Warner a flaw in his powers. He can't just tap into one's abilities like that with any consequence. That's, that's just unfair! And perfect powers for a perfect guy is just too… boring. And besides, this will make the plot much more complicated and now, each boy is equal. None of them can touch her but meh, they still love her.**

**Warner will **_**probably **_**go mega-insane in the next chapter so wait for me 'kay?**

**RnR! BYE-BYE!**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Notice Me Chapter 3**_

**Me: Okaaaaay… now the drama will kick in and my fan girl feels for pairing Juliette up with someone other than Warner will probably show in this chapter.**

**And this is not necessarily JuliettexKenji because… I **_**sort of **_**like Adam too and I wanted to give him a chance. Too cut to the chase, I really don't know what the main pairing for this story is but I'll see as I keep writing. You can tell me who you want to end up together… I don't really know.**

**Any who, enjoy the story!**

**Disclaimer— I don't own the Shatter Me Trilogy. **

**P.S. I am not that poetic so forgive me if I don't write wonderful metaphors like Mafi. I'll keep it simple but understandable.**

o-o-o

**Juliette's POV**

_Adam appears before me and the tear ducts in my eyes burst. "A-Adam, I'm so glad you're alive—"_

_I walk up to embrace him. He pushes me away, a disgusted look on his face. We're suddenly in his small house and Kenji and the others are staring at us. "I want you out of here by the time I get back," he says. He storms to the door and spins his head back, staring at me with his anger-filled eyes. "It would've been better if you were dead."_

_My whole world shatters beneath my feet and I fall in the cracks. I fall into an endless darkness and I have no assurance if there was something beneath me. Tears float around me. My tears. They are the only source of light I have. _

_I feel gravity pushing me down harder, the feeling that I'm about to die returning to me except this time, the physical pain is absent. I stare into my eyelids, clench my fists, and prepare for impact._

_Instead, I'm caught by two strong arms. Black hair and worried eyes of the same color fill my vision. My lips part and Kenji shushes me with his gloved finger. "Shut your yap first, princess," he commands. I smile; this familiarity makes me feel safe. We're back to the crater that was once Omega Point and he's carrying me as he walks. It only takes a few seconds for me to realize where he's taking me. _

"_Kenji, stop!" _

_He pauses and stares at me questioningly. I take a deep breath in and continue. "You can't take me back to Adam's place." My voice is dry. "H-He'll get mad if I show up there again."_

_He pats my head softly. "Remember J, I don't give a damn what Kent says. I'll reason with him, anything to keep you here… with me—" His face flusters and he corrects himself quickly. "I mean us."_

_I'm still not sure. Maybe it would've been better if I died. Then Adam and the rest wouldn't have any more problems right now._

"_Aw, cheer up J." Kenji smiles and messes with my hair. His eyes are locked into mine and my chest leaps in a way it never has. "Do you want to hear a secret?" His voice is playful yet serious at the same time. I have no idea where this is headed, so I just nod. He leans towards me, his breath tickling my ear. A smile forms on his lips. A smile that I've never seen him put on before._

"_**I love you…"**_

… _more than that dumbass ever could. What he said and the memory from earlier sets my cheeks on fire. When he first said it, I couldn't process any of it because Adam just broke up with me. But now… the fact he has feelings for me makes me uncomfortable._

_His gloves are gone and his hand is making its way toward me. "W-What are you doing?"_

_He doesn't answer and he… he cups my cheek in his palm. I panic. "K-Kenji! This isn't funny! What the hell are you—?"_

_His pained voice stops me. "D-Don't worry." He says, strained._

"_D-Don't worry?!" I repeat. "You're shaking and you're telling me not to—!"_

_He pulls me towards him and kisses me._

o-o-o

My eyelids flutter.

The small flickering light on the ceiling shines on my eyes. I blink a few more times before I get used to it. My head is spinning in a way that makes me want to sleep more. A metal taste resonates in my mouth and I know that I've been asleep for a long while now.

I push down the bed, trying to sit up. Two small hands push me back down.

James.

He looks down worriedly at me and places a wet cloth —that I didn't notice when it fell on my lap— on my forehead. I shiver, not because of the damp feeling in my forehead. When did it get so cold in here? I face Kenji's side, clutching the blanket near my chest. The wet cloth slides off again and this time I catch it. I mutter a small "Sorry" and hand it back to James.

He smiles and hugs me freely, which surprises me. His head is on my chest and he holds my hand— my _gloved _hand with no hesitation. "You're awake!" He cheers. I scan the room and see that we're not at Adam's house anymore. Before I could ask James where we were, he runs out the door and starts screaming. "Juliette's awake! Juliette's awake!" repeatedly.

Only a few minutes pass when the door slams open and the sound rattles in my ears. I cover my face with my pillow and hug it as hard as my energy allows it.

"Holy ****!" The one who opened the door shouts. "You finally woke up."

I already know who shouted the second he cussed. Peeking from behind the pillow, I narrow my eyes at him. "Kenji—"

_I love you._

At this memory, my words are stolen from me and I hide the blush of my face under my pillow. He comes closer and takes the cloth off my forehead. Places it on his.

"That's funny," he says, water dripping from the white cloth. "You don't feel very warm and yet you're all red. Hasn't your fever gone down?" I had a fever? "Maybe I should—" He reaches out and his hand is motioning towards me. His hands are protected with gloves and I ignore that fact and freak out.

"D-Don't touch me!" I clutch my blanket tighter and cover myself until only my eyes are visible to him. Hurt is evident in his expression and I hope guilt isn't in mine. "S-Sorry," I say. "I-I had this— this nightmare and…"

He cuts me off. "N-No, it's alright." He avoids my eyes. "You had a lot of crap to take in before you collapsed." He forces himself to smile. "You can just forget what I told you. I-I'll go…"

Something in me changes when I see him walk out that door. I'm not doing anything to stop him. He opens the door and another man charges in the room, slamming Kenji into the wall.

"Warner?!" I didn't realize I said his name out loud.

Kenji's feet are being lifted off the ground as he breathes for air. Pure anger burns in Warner's aura. "What were you doing to her?" His voice both calm and deadly.

My best friend's eyes darken and an extraordinary strength seemed to come over him. With one move Warner's hand is off neck and he kicks Warner so hard he crumples down the ground. Hatred penetrates his entire soul.

"Hope you learned your lesson you dick," he says harshly, no remorse for Warner at all. "I'm in a seriously bad mood today." The door slams behind him and Warner limps towards me. Touching my shoulders, he questions me with his vexed eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," I say, staring at the door. "I'm fine."

I'm shaking my head.

o-o-o

It turns out that Warner is a really skilled negotiator. I'm surprised to see Adam with us here despite his stubbornness and determination to stay back at his home. James wasn't with him. He must be in a different room. Everyone has been training ever since they came here. They trained in a white room filled with gym equipment and one wall was loaded with guns. I have never seen such heavy military machinery in my entire life and it isn't surprising I got closer to touch them. Winston blocks my hand.

"No touchy touchy," he says. "Or else Warner will break your neck."

Warner tries not to roll his eyes and takes a gun from the wall. Hands it to me. "You can use whatever you like." Warner seems to be really anxious and careful not to touch my fingers. Or maybe it's just my imagination?

Kenji was in the corner, standing next to Castle. I stare at him hopefully. He catches my gaze for just a second, before snapping his head away.

Ian, who was using the thread mill, jumps off it and leans on the wall. "Ugh, stop it with this tension and get on with it, Warner," he complains. "The whole place is going to swallow itself."

Warner gave him his _Shut-up-or-I'll-kill-you _stares.

Now that Ian mentioned it, everyone _has _been tense ever since I woke up. Their eyes are either on me or on Warner. Warner squeezes my gloved hand and I felt the fear in his touch through the cloth. His eyes lock himself in mine and they stay there, something I have only seen a few times forming again.

_Tears…?_

"Come on Warner!" Ian yells. "Do you want us to tell her instead?!" Castle touches his shoulder. "Ian," he scolds.

"But—"

"Let him tell her himself," Castle gives the "okay" to Warner and he pats the chair near us and I sit down in front of him, not letting go of his hand.

"Love," he tucks my hair behind my ear. I don't feel his skin anymore; he's wearing gloves. "You know that I never wanted to hurt you, right?"

I don't answer immediately. He made me kill a soldier and an innocent toddler, almost killed Adam and he locked me up in a room for a few years, examining me like I was his experiment. What does he _think _I would say?

"Yes," the look in his eyes forces me to tell a lie.

He inhales and exhales slowly; my eyes follow the rise and fall of his chest. "Good girl," he smiles. _Those dimples again._

"The times I could touch you were the happiest times of my life." _I "could"? _"It was something that was ours. _Only _ours. You told me that you felt security in my touch. I felt heaven in yours."

Blood rushed in my cheeks.

"But," he continues. "I'm afraid I can't do it anymore." He seeks help from me and I instantly squeeze his hand. "I can't touch you anymore."

1 sentence. 5 words. 7 syllables.

I never thought this was all they needed for me to break. "W-W-What?" Desperation pours out of the pauses between each stutter.

Warner touches my shoulders. "Love, calm down—"

"_I knew it," _I told myself out loud, ripping myself from his hands and almost falling off my chair. Adam catches it and I back away from him, screaming, "DON'T TOUCH ME! Don't you even _dare _to touch a monster like me!"

My eyes do their second purpose: CRY.

"You're _not _a monster, Juliette," Adam _lies_, gripping my shoulders. "_Warner _is. It's _his _touch that's defective. _He's _the one that has the capability to kill you."

That didn't change how I felt. I didn't care if it was Warner's touch or mine. All I knew is that this "curse" has taken away the last friend I have left. Adam continues, "You did nothing wr—"

"ADAM!" I scream. "NOTHING WRONG?! NOTHING WRONG?! Adam, I almost killed you _and _Kenji. I wasted your time by training me. You and James almost lost your home because of me. Warner killed that soldier and toddler using _me._"

"That wasn't your fault—"

"I _betrayed _Omega Point, Adam," I tell him. "I betrayed all of you." My sadness peers into Adam's eyes. "I betrayed _you, _Adam." I face the wall and wipe the tears off my eyes. "I _knew _that Warner was going to escape that night. I slept with him." The guilt from that moment made my conscience implode. I could see the deceit in Adam's face, his accuse of me being true.

"I slept with Warner," I admit. "You were right all along. Everyone who abused me as a child was right. I _am_ a monster_. _It is how the world is. The trees are dead; the Reestablishment is corrupt and evil; and Juliette Ferrars is a heartless and murderous monster."

The gun in my hands felt so cold, yet so comforting. I stare at its deadly beauty for a while, memorizing the details of the metal weapon. The gun and I are alike. We were both put in this world to be something useful. A gun was supposed to be made for peace and for survival purposes. I was born to be my parents' wonderful daughter.

But the world doesn't work that way. Fate has already written down our purposes and they will be engraved in our identities. And my purpose is to kill.

This gun's purpose is to kill as well. Well, not exactly. Its purpose is to kill _me._

Even death has its choices. Either to die a slow painful death or to die as quickly as possible. "Former…" I whisper. "Or… latter?"

"Stop it, Juliette!" Adam reaches out to me. The barrel of the gun feels cold on my pounding head, and everyone around me screams.

I feel numb. "What's wrong, _Kent_?!" I sound so pained right now. "Isn't this what you want? Didn't you tell me it would've been better if I was _dead_?!" A look of guilt passes through his face.

"Time to get your wish!"

"Juliette…" Warner calls for me slowly, tiptoeing towards me. "Put that down, dear. Be a good girl and put that down."

What am I, a dog? I snicker and place my finger on the trigger, the insane grin on my face cracking the dried layer of tears on my cheeks.

"Why?" I ask. "You told me I could use whatever I like."

o-o-o

**Me: WAAAAAAHHHH! WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!**

**Haha, just kidding. Of course I know. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Sorry if I don't update regularly. I always get distracted by the internet often. REAL OFTEN.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Notice Me Chapter 4**_

**Me: Back again. No chitchat so we can get back to the cliffhanger. Thanks for the reviews!**

o-o-o

**Juliette's POV**

"_Why?" I ask. "You told me I could use whatever I like."_

The door to Warner's room opens. "Juliette!" James cries as he runs up to me and hugs me on my waist. I freeze, thankful for the long pants I'm wearing.

"J-Juliette," he says his voice hoarse, like he's been crying. "D-Don't do it…" he sniffs. He hugs me tighter and tears stain my clothes. He turns to Adam and wipes his eyes on my shirt. "S-Sorry A-Addie. I k-know you wanted me to s-stay in the r-room but… but… WAAAH! JUULLLIIIIEEEETTTE!" He stares at me with pleading eyes and my knees are becoming jelly. "Don't l-leave me… p-please…"

The gun falls off my hand and clatters slowly on the floor. I stare at my hands. "W-What was I—?" My knees touch the ground and I wipe the tears off James face. "I-I'm sorry, James," I tell him. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have heard any of that. Juliette just has a lot going on in her mind right now." I grab his hand and give it a squeeze. "But… I-I promise I'll never leave you."

"It's okay, Juliette," he says, his warmth calming me. "I love you."

This time, it only took 3 words with 3 syllables to get myself together. "I love you too, James."

I let go of James and wipe my eyes as I watch Adam carry the boy back to the room. Adam stares at me sadly with his blue eyes.

"Bye-bye Juliette," James waves.

"Bye-bye," I smile.

The door closes and Warner walks up to me and reaches for my shoulder. I jump forward and turn my head to him. "Leave me alone please," I beg him. "I need to start training." I crouch down to grab the gun but Kenji kicks it out of the way. I give him an annoyed look and it tones down when he gives me a lethal one.

"You're _not _touching any of those," his voice is firm and commanding. "_EVER. AGAIN._" He points at the room I was in. "Get in that room and don't come out until I say so."

"Kenji—"

"I don't care!" he yells at me. "You almost freaking killed yourself! You are in hell no condition to train! You get to train when I tell you!"

Castle clasps Kenji's shoulders. "Calm down, Kenji." He turns to me. "Juliette, just go back to your room. We'll work on your powers after you rest okay? There's no use arguing with him at this state."

I open my mouth to counter but I decide to keep my mouth shut. I walk back to my room, their eyes still following until I fully close the door. Warner falls on his knees and touches his forehead; I don't know whether to ask him if he's alright or if I should leave him be.

I choose the latter and shut the door; his green eyes filled with tears the last thing I see.

o-o-o

I spent the next hour in bed, playing with my pillows, blanket and even taking few minute naps. I don't try to peek out my door because it would cause too much commotion. I regret trying to commit suicide. Now, everyone is going to feel awkward around me.

Suicide didn't change the fact I was a monster than can either kill or be killed. It was a part of who I am. Now that I can't touch anyone again, I realized how much I used to yearn for it.

I started practicing with my powers, how to contain it and how to let it out. I bent the metal frame of the bed and easily molded it back to its former shape. I held the frame again and it bent again, even though I willed myself not to.

A knock on the door is ignored. The person knocks again; I lie on the bed. And again; I cover myself with a blanket. And _AGAIN_; I block the noise with my pillow.

_Knock…_

Sighing, I sat up and rested my chin on my palms. "Come in," I say.

Adam peeks out from behind the door and walks in slowly, his steps the only noise in the room. He takes a place beside me on the bed and I move a few inches away from him. I trace the pattern of the blanket on my lap, avoiding his eyes that were looking at me from head to toe. I grip the blanket hard.

"If you came here just to stare at me—"

"_I'm sorry."_

I take the risk and look at him. He was following his tapping foot and his hands were clenched on his lap. "I'm so sorry," he says it again. "I didn't mean anything I said. I should never have told you that it would've been better if you were dead. When you had that gun on your skull, all I could think was that I didn't want to lose you again. You were telling me that you're doing it to make me happy but that won't make me happy Juliette." The fire in his eyes blaze as he looks at me, making my face flame. "I kept asking myself to choose: you or James. To whom will I give my allegiance? I realized that I didn't _need _to choose. All I know is that I want _you_. And I will _never _forget that."

He reaches for my hand I set on the bed. "May I?" the moment he sees my worried expression, he laughs like he used to. "No worries, you have gloves on."

_Should I?_ Should I allow myself to touch him? Should I allow myself to reach out to the old, I mean, to the _real _Adam? To my friend? To my first love?

_Just grab him Juliette, before you lose him again._

I give him my hand he removes my gloves in one move. I jerk it back but he pulls me back with my wrist. He entwines his fingers in the spaces in mine and for the first time in a while, I feel at home. He covers the back of my hand with his free one, giving it a light squeeze. The warmth of his skin tickles mine and I slowly graze his skin.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask him. He's biting his lip down so hard I'm surprised he hasn't cut himself yet. "Does it hurt?"

He gives me one his genuine smiles. "Stings, only a little bit." That enough made me want to put my hands back in my gloves. His grip on me becomes tighter. "Let me do this, Juliette. Think of it as my form of apology."

We stay like that, watching our hands and catching us looking at each other once in a while, ending up in flushed faces and embarrassed sighs.

Adam breaks the peaceful silence. "You missed this, didn't you?"

I raise my shoulders, not getting what he means. "_This. _Being touched," he answers for me. "I missed it too. But… I'd rather touch something _other_ than your hands." He winks and I'm sure my heart started beating on my face.

"A-ADAM!"

He laughs. "Just kidding. Come here." He settles me on his lap, our hands not letting go, and hugs me from behind, burying his face in my hair. His head makes its way to my shoulders and I shiver at the tickle of his breath.

Adam whispers softly in my ear. _"I love you, Juliette."_ He kisses the top of my flushed head. I lean my head back until we're face to face, unsure of what to say.

Instead, I go with this: "I'm not sure how I feel, Adam. All this… this…"

"Emotional ****?" he continues for me.

"Yeah," I giggle. "I'm so confused about all of this. Being locked up from the world all my life, I don't know how to handle these kinds of situations. It's annoying to not feel sure about something but…" I drown myself in his blue eyes. "If there's anything I'm sure about, it's that I haven't forgotten what we were, are or will be. You are one of the reasons my heart keeps beating."

I was going to say more when he silences me with a kiss. A short yet passionate kiss.

"The small sting I felt while we held doesn't compare to this," Adam says once we part, leaving me dazed. "Nevertheless, the tentative pain was worth it. _You're _worth it."

He stands up and lets me go. "Kenji told me to call you for training. Don't tell him I can kind of 'touch' you now." He makes quotes in the air. "He'll freak out. He's even crazier when jealous."

I nod my head lightly as I watch him walk out the door.

I touch my lips and feel the ghost of his.

"PRINCESS JULIETTE 'J' FERRARS! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!" Kenji screams from outside.

I smile to myself. "Coming!"

o-o-o

**Me: That's it for now. I PROMISE! I will TRY to update ASAP. Sorry for those who were tired of waiting. Patience is a virtue, right?**

**Bye-Bye!**


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